How do you resolve conflicts with a roommate?

Don't ambush your roommate when they're rushing out the door or stressed. Ask for a short conversation at a neutral time — not right after the incident, but within 24 hours so it doesn't fester. The goal is problem-solving, not venting.

Describe the behaviour, the impact, and the request — without attacking character.

• Instead of: 'You're so messy.' Say: 'When dishes sit in the sink for two days, I can't cook dinner. Can we agree on a 24-hour rule?'
• Instead of: 'You're loud.' Say: 'I wake up at 6 a.m. for work. When music is on past 11 p.m., I don't sleep well. Can we keep weeknights quiet after 10?'
• Instead of: 'You owe me money.' Say: 'The electric bill is $90. You agreed to split it on the 1st. Can you Venmo me by Wednesday?'

• Cleanliness. Define 'clean' with specifics — not 'tidy' but 'dishes done within 24 hours, counters wiped daily.' Rotate chores.
• Noise. Set quiet hours and enforce them consistently. Use headphones for late-night calls.
• Guests. Agree on advance notice, how often partners stay over, and whether they contribute to shared costs.
• Money. Put bills in writing, use a shared app, and set a due date. Late payments need a direct conversation, not a group hint.
• Food. Label shared vs. personal, set a grocery rotation, and respect dietary boundaries.

If a conversation fails, try a written message — it removes tone and gives them time to respond. If the behaviour continues, involve a mediator (a mutual friend or resident advisor for students). If the conflict involves safety, threats, or lease violations, document everything and contact your landlord or housing office. The last resort is a lease break or sublet — but that's usually preventable if you address issues early.